I was wondering what you thought about...."

Be confident but not cocky, advise successful negotiators, and know your own abilities. "Be tactful and polite but firm." Always keep things on a professional level. Advised one respondent, "Don't allow the conversation to get negative. If it does, know to stop and either accept [the offer] or move on."

Don't be in a rush, said one respondent who advises job seekers to be patient. "If they really want you for the job you can negotiate for quite some time," he or she wrote in. "Be reasonable, though." That doesn't mean you should go out of your way to poison the well before you've started work at the company. Everyone should be happy at the end of the negotiation. "The outcome should be a 'win' for both sides," one scribbled in. Another went into more detail:

Don't paint your perspective employer into a corner. Give them some outs so that they can feel like they won also. Don't push so hard that the negativity it created becomes an elephant in the room once you take the job. Remember you have to work with the same people you are negotiating with. Negotiate if you think it is necessary, but end it quickly. Protracted negotiations seldom end well and create ill will.

Some additional recommendations:

• Don't nickel and dime a prospective employer with a minor increase in their initial salary offer. The net amount is likely to be minimal on a per paycheck basis to you anyway. Rather, look at establishing a formal review process and schedule for an increase based on tangible deliverables within, say, the first six months.

• Find a female mentor in IT, if you can. It is more difficult for women to negotiate than men, and pay scales and promotions are not equal. IT managers use hierarchy levels to promote men into "senior" roles to justify higher salaries while women do same jobs in "junior" roles and make $20K less. Difficult to negotiate out of that cycle and make up the difference in salary once it occurs.

• Try and work together with the person who really wants you in that position; they can influence HR or other decision makers in their company.

• It's OK to interview with firms that you probably won't join as the practice will help you with the firm you want to join.

• Make the deal you want up-front and in writing. Much tougher once you are inside and when promises are only verbal.

Above all, though, you should take the time to ask for more. One respondent wrapped it all up in one sentence: "Be friendly, be polite, be respectful—but you will never have a better time to negotiate."

What's worked for you? What didn't? Share your experiences (from either side of the hiring desk) to help other IT professionals in their next interview experience.

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