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CIO; Ohio; Permanent Position
I’m always interested in interesting opportunities but some just don’t feel right
It’s early on a Wednesday morning in February in Chicago. It’s grey and cold and things are a little slow right now and I’m prone to the blues on days like these. As I scan my email inbox I notice an email titled “CIO; Ohio; Permanent Position”. Wow, let’s see what this is. I click on it.
It’s addressed to me, but the first thing I notice is that my name is in all caps. Not a good sign, but I read on. Here’s a cut and paste of the email:
MICHAEL,
We are looking for a CIO in the Columbus, OH area.. This is a permanent career opportunity. We are only looking for the best CIO candidates in the country, so please makes sure you are qualified at the highest level. We would prefer that you have retail experience. Please make sure you can see yourself and your family, if you have one, living in Ohio. If you are seeking to make a significant difference in operation of a major company, please contact me.
There is a very strong compensation package and relocation offered.
By the way, if you are at all curious how I got your name I found it while I was scanning the job boards, linked-In and connecting with my network. In your case I started the process by seeing your information on CareerBuilder.
Have a great day and if you are a match, please send me your resume to review.
David B-----
VP of our Executive Search Firm
As I thought about what I’d just read I noticed a few things. For starters, I haven’t put anything on CareerBuilder in five years. And I wondered who in my network would be part of David B’s network. There was also something about the way this email was written that made me think of those emails I get from people where they inform me that a certain Honorable Mr. Mumbo Jumbo has passed away leaving a zillion dollars in a numbered bank account and they will give me half a zillion dollars if I just send them a little cash to get things started. And what’s that remark about my family supposed to mean?
I sighed. Here I was looking for something to perk me up on a cold winter morning and I get this. I look out the window and see a light rain has started falling. I turned back to my computer and composed this reply and sent it back to David B.:
DAVID,
I am looking for a headhunter in the Nome, AK area.. This is a permanent career opportunity. We are only looking for the best headhunter candidates in the whole world, so please makes sure you are in that select group of totally awesome folks. We would prefer that you know how to hunt and skin caribou and elk and mount their heads on knotty pine planks. Please make sure you can see yourself and your family, if you have one 'cause we find headhunters are a pretty ornery bunch, living in a log cabin out in the middle of nowhere listening to the coyotes howl at night. If you are ready to make a significant dent in the wildlife around a major city like Nome, please contact me.
There isn't much of a compensation package and not much in the way of relocation offered.
By the way, if you're wondering how I got your name I got it while scanning the classified ads in the back of a five year old copy of Guns 'n Ammo. I also did some scanning of
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